Presidential candidate Barack Obama was recently ridiculed for suggesting that five year olds should be taught comprehensive sex education. But one of the first tenets of comprehensive sex ed is to teach at the comprehension level of the learner. Five-year-olds can handle being taught the names of all their body parts, including genitalia. They certainly need instruction that no one can touch their genitals except the doctor or parents who help them to bathe, and they need assurance that, when their friend has two mommies or two daddies, that what makes a family is love. This is what an age-appropriate sex education looks like for five year olds according to Penn grad, Logan Levkoff, a sex educator and author. (1) She told the story on a recent visit to campus of the fear one young teen boy had about when he would need to take Viagra! She also hears the lack of sexual self-esteem in young women and notes their inability to refuse one-sided relationships. She hears the way “slut” is used to destroy young people’s reputations.

I found at a focus group of undergrads at Penn that they are rarely able to articulate well-thought out sexual values, have a major disconnect between their faith and sexuality, and lack a basic language to convey either sexual interest or limits. The campus sexual culture is permeated with a reliance on alcohol or other drugs making the atmosphere hostile to responsible sexual behavior and building ethical relationships. We all want and deserve accurate information and most college students want to talk constructively about sex and to explore sexual ethics however, it is the exceptional college-age student who is adequately prepared or comfortable as a sexual being. There is a huge void when seeking helpful direction, adequate instruction, or preparation to be healthy and spiritually empowered sexual beings.

One has only to look at the family of vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin to note that avoiding sex education and advocating abstinence were not successful strategies either for her 15-year-old daughter or for herself. In spite of this failure, she continues to embrace sexually-repressive views that, should she become president, ensure she will work to mandate sexual ignorance, abstinence, and limited access to contraception. Her punitive sexual double standard places the onus of responsibility on the female. She has apparently never considered the cultural and familial disasters of forcing every woman who becomes pregnant to carry an unplanned and/or unwanted child to full term, including in the most abusive and tragic cases of rape and incest. The result of this presidential election has the possibility of moving us toward an even more secretive and sexually aversive culture. (2)

While sex researchers can fill some of this void and sex educators can provide accurate information (assuming one can even find a school that offers comprehensive sex ed,) who fills the void where there should be an open discussion of spiritually based values? When will the church respond to the sexually repressive messages that is now the only purported Christian answer? “Just say no” does not work to prevent drug usage and it obviously does not work with sexuality.

While the ostrich putting its head in the sand is a myth, the Western Christian Church does indeed follow the ostrich’s true survival mechanism; to run like heck in the opposite direction. We avoid questions of what a body-friendly and pleasure-embracing Christian theology looks like in our sexual lives. We have refused to ask how Jesus would respond to the religious legalism about sexuality from the loudest Christians on the block. And, although the church works for justice as it relates to racism and homophobia demanding compassion and advocating for marginalized peoples, we have failed to apply the same criteria as it relates to body justice. How damaged have we become as a culture when we find nothing pornographic about of warring violence and bloody revenge but label mutually shared love and physical intimacy as porn? However, in this religious void are damaged lives, short-circuited careers, ill-considered sexual choices, disastrous marriages, unwanted children, sexual ignorance, sexually transmitted infections, and dysfunctional sexual relationships, to name a few characteristics of our sex lives. By remaining silent we have insured that far too many of us are sexually wounded and many are leading unhappy lives. It is a death-dealing void. (Should Roe v Wade be dismantled by the next administration, let’s be clear that illegal abortions will return with a subsequent rise in fatalities of primarily poor, desperate women as was the case before 1974.)

This past week a college house dean learned of our sexuality ministry. Although concerned about sexual health issues, when she learned that as a clergy I was not teaching a sexually-repressed, gender-biased sexual message consistent with her Christian beliefs, she censored any participation of her house. She informed me she was a “good house dean” and I was not presenting the “true” or “Christian” message about sexuality.

To respond to this shamefully silent void the Christian Church needs to examine the following: (3)

* A critique of the legalism that undergirds much of what passes for sexual teaching from Christianity,

* An examination of how religious teachings of the goodness of creation, God’s grace, and Jesus’ gospel of abundance fit into a discussion of sexual ethics and decision-making,

* An exploration of gender relationships (Galatians 3:28) that empowers women and men equally to take responsibility for sexual pleasure and communication,

* Instigating a religious discussion that would help people articulate a sexual ethics consistent with an understanding of a body-embracing and women-friendly Christianity,

* And provide the forums for faith and sexuality to be embraced in the context of sexually accurate information.

According to sexologist Marty Klein, America is engaged in a war on sex at this time. (4) It remains to be seen if the Christian Church will continue to run from this silent genocidal war or if we will become advocates to save the lives of women and men who long to be sexual.

 

Copyright © 2008 Beverly Dale All rights reserved

 

1) Her book is called Third Base Ain’t What it Used to Be, what your Kids are Learning Bout Sex Today—and How to Teach Them to Become Sexually Healthy Adults, 2007

2) The current Bush administration has now, with a small rule change, classified birth control in the same category as abortion. This is the first step toward limiting contraception availability for women thereby mandating more pregnancies and/or abortions.

3) I commend heartily the life-long learning sexuality curriculum developed jointly by the United Church of Christ and the Unitarian Universalists entitled “Our Whole Lives.” It is the only Christian curriculum that seeks to provide accurate and age-appropriate sexual information in the context of faith discussions involving parents and their churches.

4) America’s War on Sex, the Attack on Law, Lust and Liberty, 2006 by Marty Klein, Ph.D

 

The Christian Association has, throughout its 117-year history, always tackled the social issues at the forefront of the day. Sexuality, in its broadest sense, is certainly the cutting edge issue of our culture now, both in the church and in the culture at large. In comparing statistics of unwed pregnant teens, infant mortality, use of contraceptives, and general sexual health, the US is one of the unhealthiest of nations. Our sexuality ministry, Passion Works is an attempt to sound the alarm. Check out our programming and virtual resources: www.passionworks.upennca.org

 

“If we don’t educate our young people about sexual morality,

then we can be assured that the porn industry will do it for us.”

Rev Dr. Beverly Dale